Quarantine toddler life, love and adventure
Logan and I are quarantined together. Lol duh, he’s my child. And it’s been interesting. Being a mother and business owner is a constant battle, one that I’m aware is just a phase. One day my kid(s) will grow up and go to school and I will have more “free time” to grow my business and then one day my kid(s) will move out forever and I’ll have all the “free time” I’m hankering for now and it makes me sad and also happy and also nauseous. Life is deep and I try not to live too far in the future, just the healthy reminder to myself that everything is constantly evolving and to breathe through each stressful phase.
And now quarantine. A new phase. And it’s hard. I’m both aggravated and grateful. John is still operating his restaurants, even if it’s in a different way, we have our security and that’s always a blessing. My work has slowed down exponentially since I rely heavily on social gatherings to attain new clients. Childcare came to a screeching halt and even help from family became minimal as we worry about social distancing and being healthy. There have been so many meltdowns and so much angst. I’ve wondered how on earth people run businesses with children at home full time and I know they’re all struggling too because this is a unique situation where for the first time that I’ve been aware, every person is in the same boat as the next in regards to being home with limited or no help. Figuring it out one day at a time and most of us feel like we’re failing. I know logically we’re not. I’m not. You can’t fail at something that you’ve never done before. You learn. So we’re all learning. And learning is difficult and time consuming.
Entertainment and teaching a toddler. I’m not trained in either. We just become parents and figure it out on the spot. Quarantine is different though. There are no third party activities to provide an outlet when you’re out of ideas. We have watched lots of movies and Sesame Street and it took the first 3 weeks for me to accept that this is okay, I’m not a bad mom. I also personally love movies and still consider myself an active member of society so hopefully I’ll instil the same in Logan.
I’ve read articles about toddler activities. Looked at ideas on social media (one being the busy toddler instagram account, who offers excellent, attainable ideas), spoken to other moms and my own mom. And then I tried the activities and the projects and the plans. In my particular experience, it hasn’t worked. My son has boundless energy. He is fixated on certain activities like throwing rocks down the sewage drain outside, which is like not allowed. So there goes outside time. I spent weeks trying new things, new schedules. None of it brought me the actual peace I was looking for. Because Logan is 2 years old. He’s in the “boundary stage.” It’s my job to teach him what he can and can’t do and essentially, that’s the only thing on the docket day in and day out right now. I miss the help of childcare professionals taking on a couple days a week and providing an environment to thrive with other toddlers. It was the hardest decision I made as a parent initially because I didn’t grow up in daycare. I quickly learned though, it’s not just about my need to work or have time without my child attached to me. It’s an experience that Logan will grow and learn from, surrounded by people who are trained to teach him. And now it’s gone. I know so many others are feeling that same stress and I’m with you.
This month’s struggle -
Food. My child, bless his soul, has always loved food and would eat so many things. He ate crab cakes, meatballs, sweet potatoes, hummus. It was great. Then, he turned 2 and decided he had opinions and I’m still coming to peace with that. So my biggest stress as of late has been meal time. I would spend time making something he usually eats, and he would throw it on the floor or even better, pick it up and hand it right back to me and say “no.” Send me serenity. It’s been so aggravating. When he throws a hunger tantrum it makes matters even worse because I know he’s hungry and likes the food I made for him but at this age there is no reasoning or understanding. Just reacting. John told me to stop trying. He suggested I give him pizza and meatballs and mac and cheese for every meal for a week to give myself a break and then we would reassess. So I did it. For about 2 weeks I just rotated those foods. Plus some eggs for breakfast and lots of fruit. The kid loves berries. My stress levels came way down and Logan stopped having meal tantrums. I’ve just started slowly reintroducing some of his old favorites back (like trader joe’s fried rice) and I think, he might just be so sick of pizza and meatballs that he is happy to eat something new. Because it's going well. Knock on wood. So that’s one of my toddler stresses this season of life. Anxiously awaiting what's next.
Hang in there. You’re doing your best and your kids know it. They love you for just being there smiling at them and showing love. They don’t know eventually they’ll need to do math equations and read. Only we know that. So let it go right now. They’ll learn it eventually. *she says to herself* - *also I still can’t do math and I’m mostly fine, she reminds herself*
xx stephanie
